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Thread: Poop Poems

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The beautiful foothills of the Smoky Mountains
    Posts
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    Default Poop Poems

    I know, I know........I'm awake way too early and was looking for the ghost to spook someone tomorrow and came across these poems. I'm going to include some ghost poop (white tic tacs) in my package to my friend........Enjoy!

    Turkey Poop
    Chocolate Peanuts or Raisins
    Version #1
    You invited me to Thanksgiving dinner
    with your family and your friends.
    You didn't tell me I was the main dish.
    For me it was "THE END!"
    You frightened me so badly--I knew I had been duped!
    So, I left you with my calling card, this bag of turkey poop!
    Happy Thanksgiving, from The Turkey

    Version #2
    I was going to leave candy but got caught in the coop.
    I left you goodies anyway and now I flew the coop!

    Version #3
    I was going to leave candy, but got caught up in the coop.
    I left you goodies anyway...oh yeah, that's Turkey Poop!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Deer Poop
    Chocolate Covered Raisins or Nuts

    I hunted and I hunted,
    But Oh, shoot!
    All I found this season
    Was deer poop!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Snowman Poop
    Mini Marshmallows or Mints

    Version #1
    Santa checked his list not once, but twice.
    He found you've been naughty not nice.
    Since coal is so expensive, Here's the scoop.
    He's filled your stocking with Snowman poop!!!

    Version #2
    Heard you've been naughty so here's the scoop
    all you get for Christmas is snowman poop
    Version #3
    Santa's been makin' his list and checkin' it twice
    He knows that you've been naughty - not nice. . . . .
    Since coal is so expensive here's the scoop
    Santa has left you Snowman Poop!

    Version #4
    I heard you've been naughty, so listen: here's the scoop.
    I'm running short on coal this year, So you get snowman poop.
    Love, Santa

    Version #5
    In the cold of winter when snow arrives,
    all the snowman dance and feel alive.
    If you follow in their tracks,
    you will find little droppings from their cracks.
    Round and white so sweet and light
    Eat one eat two and have sweet dreams tonight!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Reindeer Poop
    Chocolate Covered Raisins or Nuts
    Version #1
    I woke up with such a scare when I heard Santa call...
    "Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!
    I ran to the lawn and in the snowy white drifts,
    those nasty reindeer had left "little gifts".
    I got an old shovel and started to scoop
    neat little piles of "reindeer poop".
    But to throw them away, seemed such a waste,
    So I saved them, thinking ~ you might like a taste!
    As I finished my task, which took quite awhile,
    Old Santa passed by and he sheepishly smiled.
    And I heard him exclaim as he rose in the sky
    "Well, they're not potty trained, but at least they can fly!"

    Version #2
    For all the souls who hate the noise of Christmas cheer and lights and toys
    For Mr. Scrooge, and Mrs. too, here's a little gift for you...
    A lump of coal won't be enough to make up for the shine and fluff,
    So, here's a scoop of reindeer poop to offset all that Christmas Goop!!!

    Version #3
    Christmas is coming and so are the deer
    listen closely and you will hear,
    And 'long with them comes a special treat,
    Reindeer droppings for you to eat!!!!!

    Version #4
    Santa came and went last night traveling on his worldwide loop
    Because you weren't so good this year you get no coal, just snowman poop
    Round and white so sweet and light, eat some and have good dreams tonight
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Elfin Droppings
    Red & Green M&M's

    The elves were so sick they couldn't make toys
    And Santa had to fill all those stockings
    He gathered the only thing the elves could make -
    Here are your Elfin droppings.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Grinch Poop
    Green M&M's or Tic-Tacs

    HO-HO-HO, Christmas is near
    So here is a bit of Christmas Cheer!
    I heard from a little birdie
    Who sits on the stoop
    You've been mean and naughty
    So here's your Grinch Poop
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Cupid Poop
    Cinnamon Red Hots

    I couldn't send you flowers, and candy wouldn't do.
    And mushy cards just didn't say the things I want them to.
    So I got you something special, and here's the inside scoop.
    I found you something very rare - It's genuine Cupid poop!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Leprechaun Poop
    Green Jelly Beans
    The Leprechauns of Ireland
    Bring a special gift your way
    It's full of love and happiness
    On this St. Patrick's Day
    And along with all good wishes
    >From this merry little group
    Comes a little something special
    It's a bag of Leprechaun POOP!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Bunny Poop
    Chocolate Covered Peanuts or Raisins

    The Easter Bunny came last night
    And left this little scoop.
    Because you weren't so good this year,
    You're getting Bunny Poop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Pumpkin Poop
    Candy Corn

    I started to carve a pumpkin
    with my carving knife and scoop
    But the pumpkin got so scared
    He took a little poop!
    It looked so cute and funny
    Just like a candy treat
    So I'm sharing it with you now
    Because you are so sweet!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Witch Poop
    Bits of Black Licorice

    Witches are wenches,
    Who fly dusk to dawn...
    But better watch out what
    They leave on your lawn!!!
    Their brooms fly so fast.
    They dip and they swoop...
    But if they get scared,
    They leave you WITCH POOP!!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ghost Poop
    White Tic-Tacs

    Version #1
    I could hear them in the walls
    Running down the halls.
    In and out of rooms,
    Dancing with the brooms,
    But, alas, not one believed.
    The Ghost roamed my happy home,
    So I collected up their droppings
    As a special gift for you
    For now a fool you'll pay
    With evidence of ghoul play.

    Version #2
    Ghosts are scary
    And know when to Boo.
    They are not hairy,
    Like me and you.
    They fly so fast,
    So don't try to snoop,
    For if THEY get scared,
    They will leave GHOST POOP!

    Version #3
    'Twas the night before Halloween
    and the night was real nice
    all the creatures were stirring
    including the mice
    The ghosts were out spooking
    and could not be heard
    But when I looked down
    I found this little ghost turd
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    New Baby Poop
    Attach to bag of Diapers

    You've a new little one
    to love and adore,
    but life's not all smiles,
    you're in for much more!
    When something smells funny
    and you're feeling real moody,
    just hand him to daddy,
    make HIM clean the poopy!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Dayton,Texas...USA
    Posts
    5,620

    Default Re: Poop Poems

    Those were really cute!
    Thanks, I think the Grandchildren will get a kick out of this too.
    Have you made time to listen to the birds today........

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    in a little piece of Muskoka, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    6,614

    Default Re: Poop Poems

    Love 'em! Copied some of them down,,,thanks for sharing
    A balanced diet is a cookie in both hands

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The beautiful foothills of the Smoky Mountains
    Posts
    694

    Default Re: Poop Poems

    Bumping just once for the evening friends!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    11,714

    Default Re: Poop Poems

    LOL!!! just finished reading them, thanks for the laughs going to print for a friend!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Dixie Land
    Posts
    8,304

    Default Re: Poop Poems

    I might have to make up some of those for the granddaughters. LOL

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