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I Owe My Mother!

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  • I Owe My Mother!

    I OWE MY MOTHER

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    ' Because I said so, that's why.'

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
    'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don 't exaggerate!'

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    'Stop acting like your father!'

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    'Just wait until we get home.'

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    'You are going to get it when you get home!'

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    'You're just like your father.'

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

    25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you .

  • #2
    #25 - my mom always threatened me with that one. I showed her - I didn't have any kids LOL

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    • #3
      # 22 my mother used that a lot.....

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      • #4
        I THINK EVERYONE OF THEM IS FROM MY MOM, SHE SAID ALL OF THEM OVER AND OVER AND OVER, I GUESS I WAS A SLOW LEARNER!

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        • #5
          Haha these are great. Going to pass them along. Great email before mothers day.

          Huffle
          God grant me the serenity to accept the yarn I cannot return... courage to change the yarn I can... and the reciept to know the difference.

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          • #6
            I just emailed this to my son...he needs to be reminded of all the good things I taught him.

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            • #7
              If you use these lines today its considered verbal abuse!

              I guess I was abused as a child and I turned out just fine!

              Another one my mother use: Some parents drink their paycheck away, at least I come home and cook you dinner. She was not the best cook either!!!!
              Last edited by Ro-Ro; 05-06-2008, 03:26 PM.
              "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle"

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