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  • How can you find a friend?

    After reading Krubic's wonderful inivisible Mom thread, I hesitated about submitting this question, but then decided that it too, might be relevant.

    Reletively new to the neighbourhood, not affiliated to a church or religion, no children of school age, not in the workforce and neighbours barely over-the-fence friendly,...... how can you assimilate, and what would you do to find a friend?
    Communicate. It can't make things any worse!

  • #2
    I've moved several times in the past few years.

    I'd take a class or join an association or club. Two or three is better than one. And I'd volunteer to be on the board or help one of the associations. That is how I've made most of my friends. I'd try at least one professional related and one social/hobby related.

    First of all, I like doing these things anyway. Sometimes you don't feel like going out, but I'm always glad I did.
    www.southernjewishprincess.com

    www.funnynotslutty.com

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    • #3
      I saw this on tv the other night and thought Wow! The person put out snacks and had a open house. Neighbors came and it was so nice to watch. Good luck.

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      • #4
        There are online clubs and they meet and do things together and includes members just like yourself. Is there for the friendship and not a dating club.

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        • #5
          I am NOT judging at all, but is there a reason you do not have a church? Is it because you are new? There are A LOT of churches that have a welcoming committee that helps newbies.

          I am lucky because I belong to a church, have great neighbors, and have small kids!

          How about looking into volunteer jobs in the community. Like Meals on Wheels or a hospital auxillary. You can make lots of friends there. I was 24 (oh...so long ago) when I joined my hospital auxillary. Look up your local chamber on the net, they should give you a list of clubs that you could join.

          Good luck and keep me posted!

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          • #6
            We moved to this town six weeks before last Thanksgiving so we volunteered to wash dishes at a community holiday dinner. Part of the deal was that we were also invited to the dinner where we were sitted quite by chance with a county commissioner, a city commissioner, their wives, and a priest. Each time someone stopped at the table to "kiss" their rings, we were introduced as their new friends. It was great fun. We also joined a church and signed to assist in the ministries. We've made many friends.

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            • #7
              This is just my experience, does not mean it will be the same as yours...Most of the people in charity organizations seem to be parents. And I have found that the volunteer types are serious and focused on tasks and almost don't want to stop and be social. Volunteering is still a great thing to do, but I bond better in classes and clubs.

              You don't have to be part of a religious organization or have kids to be social. It's easier, but not necessary. But you do have to get out of your comfort zone and try something new!

              I'd resist an online club. We're online enough. Do something in person! The online clubs are likely to have people who are more afraid or cautious of in-person contact. Or they might want to email and IM a lot. Not good.
              Last edited by southernjewishprincess; 05-08-2008, 12:16 AM.
              www.southernjewishprincess.com

              www.funnynotslutty.com

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              • #8
                Actually the online club doesen't stay online that much. It's there mainly to sign up for the events and to read what the events are next.

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                • #9
                  I'm sure volunteering of any kind would put you in a position to meet new people and networking will fall into place eventually. Maybe volunteer at several locations......hospitals, meals on wheels, nursing homes, etc. You might want to check with the borough, township or whatever your municipality that you live in is called. Ours has trips and classes of all sorts for people.
                  The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

                  Faith is believing in advance what already makes sense in retrospect. O:-)

                  'Do not ask the Lord to Guide your Footsteps if you are not willing to move your Feet'

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                  • #10
                    oh SJP................do I seem uptight..........LOL LOL LOL I volunteer and I am definatly not too serious, I do it for both, the community and friends. Maybe it is where you are from? My city is only 25,000 peeps. It's different everywhere.

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                    • #11
                      I threw this question out here, because it seems to me that the computer has taken the place of getting out into the community and actually becoming acquainted with other people. I wanted to hear what you all had to say on the subject. I have been reading your responses with great interest.

                      And I'll add one more thing--a smaller town--is it easier or harder to break into the social scene?
                      Communicate. It can't make things any worse!

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                      • #12
                        We moved here a little over 8 months ago and jumped right in to community meetings once a month (about 700 peeps in town). Almost EVERYONE is retired here and we're the youngsters for sure (and we're in our 50s!) We've met super nice peeps.

                        I volunteer tutoring kids and have met MORE nice peeps. As I work at home, I knew I'd have to "put myself out there" or I'd go mad.

                        Churches are a good place to go too... but I didn't/won't. After many, MANY years ... organized religion leaves a bad taste in my mouth. That said... you can get involved quickly and meet lots of nice peeps at church.
                        "What fresh hell is this?" Dorothy Parker

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Ginger
                          After reading Krubic's wonderful inivisible Mom thread, I hesitated about submitting this question, but then decided that it too, might be relevant.

                          Reletively new to the neighbourhood, not affiliated to a church or religion, no children of school age, not in the workforce and neighbours barely over-the-fence friendly,...... how can you assimilate, and what would you do to find a friend?
                          I FEEL THIS WAY ALL THE TIME ABOUT FINDING FRIENDS IN MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD. I STILL FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER AFTER 2.5 YEARS. AND I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH THE EX-WIFE BEING IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, GOING TO THE SAME CHURCH AND GROWING UP WITH ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE AREA. I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT FEELS LIKE PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME BECAUSE IT MIGHT CAUSE FRICTION WITH THE EX. I FEEL AT TIMES THAT I HAVE STEPPED INTO HER TERRITORY, WHICH REALLY I DIDN'T--BUT I DON'T MEAN IT IN A BAD WAY.

                          SORRY TO HIJACK.
                          SHEL

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                          • #14
                            How can you find a friend?

                            Our local school has volunteers that come and either read to or listen to a child read. Your school could always use other volunteers-watch the playground, copy papers, etc. I belong to a dog club-obedience-showmanship, etc. Church is great like others have said. Do you have a gardening club in area? Our local newspaper has an area with club news, volunteer positions.

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                            • #15
                              I agree with everyone that volunteering is a great way to meet some new people. Think about what you like doing and what you might like helping out with. I do volunteer work for the local animal shelter and also church. I would like to get involved with some other volunteer work also. Open the phone book and start calling places to see what kind of help they may need.

                              Also look into some classes. The local votech may be a place to start. They usually offer some adult continuing ed type classes. Also check the local library to see if they have a book club.

                              My local newspaper usually has a section once a week with a volunteering opportunities section which helps with ideas. Check if your local paper does the same.

                              Another idea is to join a local gym and/or take some classes at the gym.

                              The thing that I have found though is that it is much easier to find a lot of acquaintances and so much harder to find true friends. But you can't make any friends if you don't get yourself out there.

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