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  • thursday funny

    Important Zen teachings
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    > 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
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    > me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is
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    > narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
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    > 2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
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    > 3. No one is listening until you fart.
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    > 4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
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    > 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
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    > 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
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    > missing a couple of mortgage payments.
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    > 7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
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    > shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
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    > have their shoes.
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    > 8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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    > 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
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    > fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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    > 10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
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    > probably well worth it.
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    > 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
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    > 12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.
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    > 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
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    > 14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes
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    > from bad judgment.
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    > 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    > 16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
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    > 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
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    > 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
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    > 19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ...
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    > then things just get worse.
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    > 20. Never, under any circumstances,
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    > take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

  • #2
    Words to live by. I especially like 10

    Comment


    • #3
      Ok I would love to tell people #1. It's kinda like the saying 'Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way....but with attitude!!

      Huffle
      God grant me the serenity to accept the yarn I cannot return... courage to change the yarn I can... and the reciept to know the difference.

      Comment

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