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  • Billary funny (adult)

    Worse than you thought & worth remembering and this came from a Democrat.

    Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton,
    I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank
    Me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and
    Reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you"
    For what you have done, specifically:

    1. Thank you for introducing us to Gennifer
    Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle
    Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick.
    Did I leave anyone out?

    2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral
    Sex. I had really planned to wait until he was a
    Little older to discuss it with him, but now he
    Knows more about it than I did as a senior in college.

    3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment
    In the work place (especially the White House) and
    On the job is OK, and all you have to know is what
    The meaning of "it" is. It really is great to know
    That certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person
    May have sex while the other one does NOT have sex.

    4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of
    Impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating
    That the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog"
    Could be plausible after all.

    5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent,
    Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look
    Honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John
    Kennedy look moral.

    6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses
    Who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who
    Have fled the country to avoid testifying about
    Democratic campaign fund raising.

    7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions,
    And 4 imprisonment's from the Whitewater "mess" and
    The 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions
    (so far) in the other " Clinton " scandals.

    8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half,
    "gutting" much of our foreign policy, and flying all
    Over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips.

    9 Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of
    Dollars (I really didn't need it in the first place,
    And I can't think of a more deserving group of
    Recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars)
    For all of your globe-trotting. I understand you,
    The family and your cronies have logged in more time
    Aboard Air Force One than any other administration.

    10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks
    For the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted
    Felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin

    (Not to mention the scores you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas )

    11. Thanks also for removing the White House
    Silverware. I'm sure that Laura Bush didn't like the
    Pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts
    You've received from your "friends."

    12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing
    Of the White House for vandalizing and destroying
    Government property on the way out. I also
    Appreciate removing all of that excess weight
    ( China , silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap,
    Pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1.

    The weight savings means burning less
    Fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel.

    Thank you!

    13. Please ensure that Hillary enjoys
    The $8 million dollar advance for her "tell-all"
    Book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your
    Memoirs. Who says crime doesn't pay!

    14. The last and most important point - thank you
    For forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free.
    Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in
    Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and
    Imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with
    The Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to
    Release so-called "political prisoners". However,
    The Israelis would not release any with blood on
    Their hands.. The American President at the time,
    Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren
    Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be
    Released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and
    Eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into
    Tower One of the World Trade Center . This was
    Reported by many of the American TV networks at the
    Time that the terrorists were first identified. It
    Was censored in the US from all later reports. Why
    shouldn't Americans know the real truth?

    What a guy!!

    A US Citizen

    PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore
    for "inventing" the Internet, without which I would
    not be able to send this wonderful, factual e-mail.
    AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton,
    as a New York State Senator, now comes under the
    "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan," which
    means that even if she never gets reelected, she
    STILL receives her Congressional salary until she
    dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were
    pension eligible after only 4 years?)

    If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary
    until HE dies. He is already getting his
    Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary
    outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she
    dies. Guess who pays for that?
    WE DO!

    It's common knowledge that in order for her to
    establish NY residency, they purchased a million
    dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua , New York .
    Makes sense. They are entitled to Secret Service
    protection for life. Still makes sense.

    Here is where it becomes interesting. Their
    mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month.
    BUT, an extra residence HAD to be built within the
    acreage to house the Secret Service agents.

    The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000
    monthly rent for the use of that extra residence,
    which is just about equal to their mortgage payment.
    This means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the
    Clinton's salary, mortgage, transportation, safety
    and security, as well as the salaries for their 12
    man staff -- and, this is all perfectly legal!

    When she runs for President, will you vote for her?

  • #2
    Re: Billary funny (adult)

    OMG TX you crack me up. This is all so poinient and shows where are tax dollars realy are going.

    God grant me the serenity to accept the yarn I cannot return... courage to change the yarn I can... and the reciept to know the difference.


    • #3
      Re: Billary funny (adult)

      huffle, i love you, lol


      • #4
        Re: Billary funny (adult)

        Good one Tx, I love it. And it's so true.


        • #5
          Re: Billary funny (adult)

          Funny. Of course, some of it is NOT true, but it's funny anyway.


          • #6
            Re: Billary funny (adult)

            I am questioning the second house for the secret service ?? Those guys work in shifts, they don't need a whole house, a room would do ??? But hey, what do I know ? LOL


            • #7
              Re: Billary funny (adult)

              Ummm....I understand that many fine Americans are obsessed with "morals" that impact nobody but the perpetrators. Unless I choose to let Bill's personal problems be a part of my life, it's no consequence to me. I am much more impacted by my son-in-law who has served 3 tours of duty in Iraq (12 to 13 month stints) & is scheduled to go to Afghanistan in August. This 36 year old man has whiter hair than I do. This is a travesty

              To me the biggest moral crisis with this country is the issue with keeping us at war to improve the lives of the elite. Next is the issue of middle & lower middle class folks who have to work 2 jobs (both parents) in order to buy overpriced groceries & fuel. Not to mention that they have no insurance.....this, I believe, is one of the abominations the bible talks about. Wasn't the church supposed to help widows & orphans?

              Sexual infidelity & trying to explain these issues to 3rd graders is LEAST on MY list of heart wrenching problems in my family's world. I constantly have a lump in my throat about many more circumstances than presidential b l o w j o b s in the White House.

              Sorry about my bluntness on this message board, but these issues are important to me I & really do empathise with those who take issue with sexual indiscretions.....they honestly DO pale against the murderous occurrences going on in the Middle East & those in our administration who duped the American public into fearing a "boogeyman" who wasn't there!


              • #8
                Re: Billary funny (adult)

                That was a good one. I guess that's the only reason they are staying married.


                • #9
                  Re: Billary funny (adult)

                  Very entertaining reading...I am passing this on to many of my Republican and Democratic friends who can not stomach our former President and his wife!


                  • #10
                    Re: Billary funny (adult)

                    I have to agree with Manzanita. Well said.


                    • #11
                      Re: Billary funny (adult)

                      Zowie!! I'd better get started on my thank you note to the village idiot (Bush... don't get mad... I've been calling him that for 8 years!). Mine will be more about screwing the American Public rather than a few slutty women who wanted to "bag" a President.
                      "What fresh hell is this?" Dorothy Parker