Food Funnies and other info.

[nuisance]

FOOD FUNNIES: Signs You're Being Stalked by a Celebrity Chef
================================================== ==========

9. You park your car on the street, and when you return, there's
a nice Beef Stroganoff simmering on your engine block.

8. All the foodstuffs in your pantry and refrigerator have
been tagged with little sticky notes reading "Good Eats" or
"Bad Eats."

7. You find a horse's head in your bed ... sauteed in garlic and
butter, with a side of scalloped potatoes.

6. Someone mysteriously rewired your cable box so you get Food TV
on all 250 channels.

5. The phone keeps ringing and all you hear when you pick up is a
breathy "Bam."

4. You come home from work to find all your snacks have been
unwrapped.

3. Every clove of garlic in your kitchen has been pressed flat.

2. Your pet rabbit is put in the oven, and moments later brought
out of another oven fully cooked.

... and the #1 Sign You're Being Stalked by a Celebrity Chef ...

1. As you're listening to some Simon & Garfunkel in the living room,
you hear a muffled voice from outside muttering "No no no! Not
with *sage*!"

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S E L E C T E D R E C I P E S :

* Steak & Ale's Bourbon Street Steak
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes3/ir382.html
* Basil Cream Chicken
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/09152.htm
* Super Short Ribs
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes2/09162.htm
* Spicy Blackened Catfish
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06204.htm
* Fried Green Tomatoes
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06205.htm
* Muffaletta Salad
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06206.htm
* Guacamole with Crabmeat
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06207.htm
* Strawberry Margarita Pie
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06208.htm

> Healthy Eating:

Low Carb: Flank Steak with Peanut Sauce
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/lc11.htm

Diabetic: Turkey Burgers
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/diab26.htm

Low Fat: Chili Burritos
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/lowfat23.htm

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Kelley's Cooking Tips
=====================

Biscuits Tips:

* Biscuits will be crisp on the outside and flaky in the center if
you roll the dough thin and fold it over once before cutting out
biscuits. They'll also split open easily when you're ready to
butter them.

* To re-freshen and heat biscuits, put them in a well-dampened paper
bag, twist it closed and put in a 300F oven for several minutes or
until warm.

* If you want soft-sided biscuits, bake them in a pan with sides and
put the biscuits close together.

* If you want crusty biscuits, bake them on a cookie sheet and place
them apart from each other.
---------------------------------------
UPCOMING FOOD HOLIDAYS: I'll take all of these!!! lol

June is: National Papaya Month
National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month
National Iced Tea Month
National Dairy Month
National Seafood Month

June 22 - National Chocolate Eclair Day
June 23 - National Pecan Sandy Day
June 24 - National Creamy Pralines Day
June 25 - National Strawberry Parfait Day
June 26 - National Chocolate Pudding Day
June 27 - National Orange Blossom Day
June 28 - National Tapioca Day
June 29 - National Almond Butter Crunch Day

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S E L E C T E D R E C I P E S :

* Steak & Ale's Bourbon Street Steak
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes3/ir382.html
* Basil Cream Chicken
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/09152.htm
* Super Short Ribs
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes2/09162.htm
* Spicy Blackened Catfish
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06204.htm
* Fried Green Tomatoes
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06205.htm
* Muffaletta Salad
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06206.htm
* Guacamole with Crabmeat
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06207.htm
* Strawberry Margarita Pie
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes4/06208.htm

> Healthy Eating:

Low Carb: Flank Steak with Peanut Sauce
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/lc11.htm

Diabetic: Turkey Burgers
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/diab26.htm

Low Fat: Chili Burritos
http://www.e-cookbooks.net/recipes/lowfat23.htm
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FOR DESSERT, NO EGGS ALLOWED
By MARK BITTMAN

Panna Cotta may be an Italian invention, but the idea of thickening
sweetened cream with gelatin has spread far and wide.

The almond-flavored pudding known as blancmange is one good example,
and the Caribbean tembleque, which uses coconut milk, is another.

These are all eggless custards, and panna cotta (which means cooked
cream) is the most pure, simple and delightful version.

If you can get good cream, preferably local and fresh, the flavor is
unbeatable. If the cream is bland, you might consider using a
stronger flavoring than the vanilla I use here: a little orange
flower water, maybe, an Earl Grey or jasmine tea bag, some almond
extract or a few lavender flowers. Any light flavor in you might add
to ice cream will work in panna cotta.

The original is unbeatable, though, and amazingly foolproof.

The gelatin used is essentially glue, but it works time after time,
with little judgment required of the cook. Make sure it dissolves
fully and you will have no lumps or granules in your smooth panna
cotta.

Once you have made the dessert a few times, you can begin to play
with the amount of gelatin you use.

One envelope is two teaspoons; if you prefer a slightly stiffer
concoction, add another teaspoon (not the two tablespoons suggested
by some recipes, which will give you cement). If your cream is really
thick, try just over a teaspoon. This will yield a dreamy, ethereal
concoction that is incredibly light.

One other trick: panna cotta can be used as a base for an ice cream
that requires no churning. Make the recipe below and freeze it for
several hours or overnight. Let it soften for 15 to 30 minutes at
room temperature and you have something close to what used to be
called Philadelphia-style ice cream. Not bad, and almost no work.

Panna Cotta
===========
3 cups cream, or 1 1/2 cups cream and 1 1/2 cups half-and-half
1 package (1/4 ounce) unflavored gelatin
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or to taste) or 1 vanilla bean
1/2 cup sugar

1. Put 1 cup cream in a medium saucepan and sprinkle gelatin over it;
let sit for 5 minutes. Turn heat to low and cook, stirring, until
gelatin dissolves completely.

2. If using vanilla extract, add remaining cream and sugar to gelatin
mixture and heat gently, just until sugar dissolves; add vanilla
and proceed to Step 3. If using vanilla bean, cut it in two,
lengthwise. Scrape out seeds; add seeds and bean pod to pot, along
with the sugar and remaining cream. Cook over medium heat,
stirring, until steam arises. Turn off heat, cover, and let steep
for 15 to 30 minutes.

3. Remove vanilla bean, if you used it. Pour mixture into 4 large or
6 small custard cups. Chill until set, about 4 hours. Serve in
cups, or dip cups in hot water for about 10 seconds, then invert
onto plates. Serve within 24 hours. Yield: 4 to 6 servings.

[TxRogue]

Re: Food Funnies and other info.

damnit, i wanted the guacamole and crab recipe and the link gave me muffalletta salad?i want the guacamole, lol

[nuisance]

Re: Food Funnies and other info.

Fine you brat, I'll copy and past the whole damned thing! Just for you!

Steak & Ale's Bourbon Street Steak
==================================
2 Tbls. yellow onion, diced
1/2 cup bourbon
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 1/2 tsp. chopped garlic (about 2 cloves)
4 (10-ounce) New York strip steaks

Mix onion, bourbon, soy sauce, brown sugar, lemon juice and garlic
in a small bowl. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Place steaks in a
shallow dish large enough for them to be in a single layer. Pour
marinade over steaks. Cover and refrigerate for 4 to 8 hours. You
may turn steaks occasionally. Remove steaks and discard marinade.
Grill to desired doneness. Makes 4 steaks.

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Basil Cream Chicken
===================
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breast, cubed
1 cup minced onion
3/4 lb. fresh mushrooms, sliced
2 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
2 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon chicken bouillon
1 cup whipping cream
2 tablespoons minced fresh basil
1/4 teaspoon pepper
hot cooked and drained fettuccine

Saute chicken, onions, and mushrooms in oil for 4 minutes. In large
saucepan, melt butter; stir in flour until smooth. Add chicken broth,
boullion and cream. Stir in basil and pepper. Bring to a boil; cook
and stir for 2 minutes. Combine with the chicken mixture. Serve over
fettuccini.

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Super Short Ribs
================
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 1/4 pounds beef short ribs
2 onions, quartered
1 (8 1/4-ounce) can pineapple chunks with syrup
1 (14 1/2-ounce) can beef broth
1/2 cup bottled chili sauce
1/4 cup honey
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
4 garlic cloves, chopped
Chopped fresh parsley

Preheat oven to 350F. Heat oil in heavy large ovenproof pot over
medium-high heat. Add ribs and brown well, turning frequently,
about 10 minutes. Add onions, pineapple with syrup, broth, chili
sauce, honey, Worcestershire sauce and garlic to ribs; stir to
coat. Cover pot and bake ribs 1 hour. Uncover and bake until ribs
are tender, about 1 hour. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
Sprinkle with parsley.

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Spicy Blackened Catfish
=======================
2 teaspoons sweet paprika
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, crumbled
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled
1/4 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 catfish fillets (about 1 pound)
1 large garlic clove, sliced thin
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
lemon wedges as an accompaniment

In a small bowl combine the paprika, oregano, thyme, cayenne,
sugar, salt, and black pepper. Pat the catfish dry, and sprinkle
the spice mixture on both sides of the fillet, coating them well.
In a large skillet saute the garlic in the oil over moderately
high heat, stirring, until it is golden brown and discard the
garlic. Add the butter, heat it until the foam subsides, and in
the fat, saute the catfish for 4 minutes on each side, or until
it is cooked through. Transfer the catfish fillets with a slotted
spatula to 2 plates and serve them with the lemon wedges.

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Fried Green Tomatoes
====================
6 cups canola oil, for frying
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Pinch paprika
Pinch cayenne pepper
2 medium green tomatoes
2 cups Japanese bread crumbs (panko)

In a large, deep, heavy pan, heat the oil to 350F. In a medium
bowl, whisk the flour and the milk together. Mix in the salt,
black pepper, paprika and cayenne pepper.

Slice the tomatoes into 1/2-inch slices. Dip the tomato slices
into the batter, making sure they are coated thoroughly. Cover
both sides with bread crumbs. Carefully add to the hot oil and
fry in the oil until golden brown, about 3 to 5 minutes. Serve
immediately.

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Muffaletta Salad
================
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup olive juice from can
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon red chili flakes
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 carrot, peeled and diced
1/2 cup diced black olives
1/2 cup diced green olives
1/2 cup diced marinated artichoke hearts, diced
1/2 cup roasted red bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup diced celery
1/2 red onion, minced
3 cups cooked orzo
1 cup feta cheese
8 to 10 Bibb lettuce cups
1/2 cup diced Roma tomatoes

In a food processor, combine the garlic, vinegar, extra-virgin
olive oil, olive juice, lemon juice, red chili flakes, pepper and
all vegetables up to the red onion. Pulse until well chopped but
not pureed. Transfer to a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, place into
refrigerator and let marinate for 2 to 4 hours.

Add orzo to marinated vegetables, toss, then add feta and toss
again. Serve in lettuce cups and top with tomatoes.

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Guacamole with Crabmeat
=======================
3 large, ripe avocados, peeled, pitted and cut into 1/2" pieces
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1/3 cup minced cilantro leaves
1 tablespoon minced jalapeno
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 cup minced red onions
1/2 cup finely chopped seeded tomatoes
2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
1/2 pound lump crabmeat, shells and cartilage removed
Tortilla chips, for dipping

In a large bowl, place all but 1/4 cup of the avocado pieces. Add
2 tablespoons of the lime juice, 2 tablespoons of the cilantro,
1 teaspoon of the jalapeno, 1/2 teaspoon of the cumin, 1/4 teaspoon
of the garlic, 1/4 teaspoon of the salt, and a pinch of cayenne, and
mash with the back of a fork until smooth. Add 1/4 cup of the onions
and 1/4 cup of the tomatoes to the avocado mixture, and stir well to
combine. In a separate bowl, combine the remaining ingredients with
the crabmeat and gently toss to combine. Fold the crabmeat mixture
into the mashed avocado mixture, stirring to combine, but being
careful not to break up the crabmeat. Season to taste. Divide among
4 chilled Martini glasses and serve with tortilla chips.

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Strawberry Margarita Pie
========================
Crust:
1 1/4 cup pretzel crumbs
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons butter, melted
1/4 cup sugar

Filling:
1 1/2 cup strawberries, diced
14 oz. sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup lime juice, freshly squeezed
1/4 cup Tequila
2 tablespoons Triple Sec
1 1/2 cup Cool Whip, thawed

Combine pretzel crumbs, butter, and sugar, mix well. Press firmly
on bottom and up sides of a lightly buttered 9-inch pie pan.

Combine milk, lime juice, strawberries, tequila and triple sec,
blend well. Fold in Cool Whip. Pour into crust. Place in freezer for
four to eight hours. Remove from freezer and let stand 10 minutes
before serving. Garnish with whipped cream or Cool Whip.

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[TxRogue]

Re: Food Funnies and other info.

thanks, that looks good, lol