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  • Food Funnies and other info.

    FOOD FUNNIES: Signs You're Being Stalked by a Celebrity Chef
    ================================================== ==========

    9. You park your car on the street, and when you return, there's
    a nice Beef Stroganoff simmering on your engine block.

    8. All the foodstuffs in your pantry and refrigerator have
    been tagged with little sticky notes reading "Good Eats" or
    "Bad Eats."

    7. You find a horse's head in your bed ... sauteed in garlic and
    butter, with a side of scalloped potatoes.

    6. Someone mysteriously rewired your cable box so you get Food TV
    on all 250 channels.

    5. The phone keeps ringing and all you hear when you pick up is a
    breathy "Bam."

    4. You come home from work to find all your snacks have been

    3. Every clove of garlic in your kitchen has been pressed flat.

    2. Your pet rabbit is put in the oven, and moments later brought
    out of another oven fully cooked.

    ... and the #1 Sign You're Being Stalked by a Celebrity Chef ...

    1. As you're listening to some Simon & Garfunkel in the living room,
    you hear a muffled voice from outside muttering "No no no! Not
    with *sage*!"

    S E L E C T E D R E C I P E S :

    * Steak & Ale's Bourbon Street Steak
    * Basil Cream Chicken
    * Super Short Ribs
    * Spicy Blackened Catfish
    * Fried Green Tomatoes
    * Muffaletta Salad
    * Guacamole with Crabmeat
    * Strawberry Margarita Pie

    > Healthy Eating:

    Low Carb: Flank Steak with Peanut Sauce

    Diabetic: Turkey Burgers

    Low Fat: Chili Burritos


    Kelley's Cooking Tips

    Biscuits Tips:

    * Biscuits will be crisp on the outside and flaky in the center if
    you roll the dough thin and fold it over once before cutting out
    biscuits. They'll also split open easily when you're ready to
    butter them.

    * To re-freshen and heat biscuits, put them in a well-dampened paper
    bag, twist it closed and put in a 300F oven for several minutes or
    until warm.

    * If you want soft-sided biscuits, bake them in a pan with sides and
    put the biscuits close together.

    * If you want crusty biscuits, bake them on a cookie sheet and place
    them apart from each other.
    UPCOMING FOOD HOLIDAYS: I'll take all of these!!! lol

    June is: National Papaya Month
    National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month
    National Iced Tea Month
    National Dairy Month
    National Seafood Month

    June 22 - National Chocolate Eclair Day
    June 23 - National Pecan Sandy Day
    June 24 - National Creamy Pralines Day
    June 25 - National Strawberry Parfait Day
    June 26 - National Chocolate Pudding Day
    June 27 - National Orange Blossom Day
    June 28 - National Tapioca Day
    June 29 - National Almond Butter Crunch Day


    S E L E C T E D R E C I P E S :

    * Steak & Ale's Bourbon Street Steak
    * Basil Cream Chicken
    * Super Short Ribs
    * Spicy Blackened Catfish
    * Fried Green Tomatoes
    * Muffaletta Salad
    * Guacamole with Crabmeat
    * Strawberry Margarita Pie

    > Healthy Eating:

    Low Carb: Flank Steak with Peanut Sauce

    Diabetic: Turkey Burgers

    Low Fat: Chili Burritos


    Panna Cotta may be an Italian invention, but the idea of thickening
    sweetened cream with gelatin has spread far and wide.

    The almond-flavored pudding known as blancmange is one good example,
    and the Caribbean tembleque, which uses coconut milk, is another.

    These are all eggless custards, and panna cotta (which means cooked
    cream) is the most pure, simple and delightful version.

    If you can get good cream, preferably local and fresh, the flavor is
    unbeatable. If the cream is bland, you might consider using a
    stronger flavoring than the vanilla I use here: a little orange
    flower water, maybe, an Earl Grey or jasmine tea bag, some almond
    extract or a few lavender flowers. Any light flavor in you might add
    to ice cream will work in panna cotta.

    The original is unbeatable, though, and amazingly foolproof.

    The gelatin used is essentially glue, but it works time after time,
    with little judgment required of the cook. Make sure it dissolves
    fully and you will have no lumps or granules in your smooth panna

    Once you have made the dessert a few times, you can begin to play
    with the amount of gelatin you use.

    One envelope is two teaspoons; if you prefer a slightly stiffer
    concoction, add another teaspoon (not the two tablespoons suggested
    by some recipes, which will give you cement). If your cream is really
    thick, try just over a teaspoon. This will yield a dreamy, ethereal
    concoction that is incredibly light.

    One other trick: panna cotta can be used as a base for an ice cream
    that requires no churning. Make the recipe below and freeze it for
    several hours or overnight. Let it soften for 15 to 30 minutes at
    room temperature and you have something close to what used to be
    called Philadelphia-style ice cream. Not bad, and almost no work.

    Panna Cotta
    3 cups cream, or 1 1/2 cups cream and 1 1/2 cups half-and-half
    1 package (1/4 ounce) unflavored gelatin
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or to taste) or 1 vanilla bean
    1/2 cup sugar

    1. Put 1 cup cream in a medium saucepan and sprinkle gelatin over it;
    let sit for 5 minutes. Turn heat to low and cook, stirring, until
    gelatin dissolves completely.

    2. If using vanilla extract, add remaining cream and sugar to gelatin
    mixture and heat gently, just until sugar dissolves; add vanilla
    and proceed to Step 3. If using vanilla bean, cut it in two,
    lengthwise. Scrape out seeds; add seeds and bean pod to pot, along
    with the sugar and remaining cream. Cook over medium heat,
    stirring, until steam arises. Turn off heat, cover, and let steep
    for 15 to 30 minutes.

    3. Remove vanilla bean, if you used it. Pour mixture into 4 large or
    6 small custard cups. Chill until set, about 4 hours. Serve in
    cups, or dip cups in hot water for about 10 seconds, then invert
    onto plates. Serve within 24 hours. Yield: 4 to 6 servings.
    "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

  • #2
    Re: Food Funnies and other info.

    damnit, i wanted the guacamole and crab recipe and the link gave me muffalletta salad?i want the guacamole, lol


    • #3
      Re: Food Funnies and other info.

      Fine you brat, I'll copy and past the whole damned thing! Just for you!

      Steak & Ale's Bourbon Street Steak
      2 Tbls. yellow onion, diced
      1/2 cup bourbon
      1/2 cup soy sauce
      1/2 cup brown sugar
      1/2 cup lemon juice
      1 1/2 tsp. chopped garlic (about 2 cloves)
      4 (10-ounce) New York strip steaks

      Mix onion, bourbon, soy sauce, brown sugar, lemon juice and garlic
      in a small bowl. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Place steaks in a
      shallow dish large enough for them to be in a single layer. Pour
      marinade over steaks. Cover and refrigerate for 4 to 8 hours. You
      may turn steaks occasionally. Remove steaks and discard marinade.
      Grill to desired doneness. Makes 4 steaks.

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Basil Cream Chicken
      1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breast, cubed
      1 cup minced onion
      3/4 lb. fresh mushrooms, sliced
      2 tablespoons oil
      3 tablespoons butter
      3 tablespoons flour
      2 cups chicken broth
      1 tablespoon chicken bouillon
      1 cup whipping cream
      2 tablespoons minced fresh basil
      1/4 teaspoon pepper
      hot cooked and drained fettuccine

      Saute chicken, onions, and mushrooms in oil for 4 minutes. In large
      saucepan, melt butter; stir in flour until smooth. Add chicken broth,
      boullion and cream. Stir in basil and pepper. Bring to a boil; cook
      and stir for 2 minutes. Combine with the chicken mixture. Serve over

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Super Short Ribs
      1 tablespoon olive oil
      4 1/4 pounds beef short ribs
      2 onions, quartered
      1 (8 1/4-ounce) can pineapple chunks with syrup
      1 (14 1/2-ounce) can beef broth
      1/2 cup bottled chili sauce
      1/4 cup honey
      3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
      4 garlic cloves, chopped
      Chopped fresh parsley

      Preheat oven to 350F. Heat oil in heavy large ovenproof pot over
      medium-high heat. Add ribs and brown well, turning frequently,
      about 10 minutes. Add onions, pineapple with syrup, broth, chili
      sauce, honey, Worcestershire sauce and garlic to ribs; stir to
      coat. Cover pot and bake ribs 1 hour. Uncover and bake until ribs
      are tender, about 1 hour. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
      Sprinkle with parsley.

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Spicy Blackened Catfish
      2 teaspoons sweet paprika
      1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, crumbled
      1/2 teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled
      1/4 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste
      1/2 teaspoon sugar
      1/2 teaspoon salt
      1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
      2 catfish fillets (about 1 pound)
      1 large garlic clove, sliced thin
      1 tablespoon olive oil
      1 tablespoon unsalted butter
      lemon wedges as an accompaniment

      In a small bowl combine the paprika, oregano, thyme, cayenne,
      sugar, salt, and black pepper. Pat the catfish dry, and sprinkle
      the spice mixture on both sides of the fillet, coating them well.
      In a large skillet saute the garlic in the oil over moderately
      high heat, stirring, until it is golden brown and discard the
      garlic. Add the butter, heat it until the foam subsides, and in
      the fat, saute the catfish for 4 minutes on each side, or until
      it is cooked through. Transfer the catfish fillets with a slotted
      spatula to 2 plates and serve them with the lemon wedges.

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Fried Green Tomatoes
      6 cups canola oil, for frying
      1 cup all-purpose flour
      2 cups milk
      Kosher salt
      Freshly ground black pepper
      Pinch paprika
      Pinch cayenne pepper
      2 medium green tomatoes
      2 cups Japanese bread crumbs (panko)

      In a large, deep, heavy pan, heat the oil to 350F. In a medium
      bowl, whisk the flour and the milk together. Mix in the salt,
      black pepper, paprika and cayenne pepper.

      Slice the tomatoes into 1/2-inch slices. Dip the tomato slices
      into the batter, making sure they are coated thoroughly. Cover
      both sides with bread crumbs. Carefully add to the hot oil and
      fry in the oil until golden brown, about 3 to 5 minutes. Serve

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Muffaletta Salad
      1 tablespoon garlic, minced
      1/4 cup red wine vinegar
      1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
      1/4 cup olive juice from can
      1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
      1/2 teaspoon red chili flakes
      1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
      1 carrot, peeled and diced
      1/2 cup diced black olives
      1/2 cup diced green olives
      1/2 cup diced marinated artichoke hearts, diced
      1/2 cup roasted red bell pepper, diced
      1/2 cup diced celery
      1/2 red onion, minced
      3 cups cooked orzo
      1 cup feta cheese
      8 to 10 Bibb lettuce cups
      1/2 cup diced Roma tomatoes

      In a food processor, combine the garlic, vinegar, extra-virgin
      olive oil, olive juice, lemon juice, red chili flakes, pepper and
      all vegetables up to the red onion. Pulse until well chopped but
      not pureed. Transfer to a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, place into
      refrigerator and let marinate for 2 to 4 hours.

      Add orzo to marinated vegetables, toss, then add feta and toss
      again. Serve in lettuce cups and top with tomatoes.

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Guacamole with Crabmeat
      3 large, ripe avocados, peeled, pitted and cut into 1/2" pieces
      3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
      1/3 cup minced cilantro leaves
      1 tablespoon minced jalapeno
      1 teaspoon cumin
      1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
      1/2 teaspoon salt
      1/4 teaspoon cayenne
      1/2 cup minced red onions
      1/2 cup finely chopped seeded tomatoes
      2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
      1/2 pound lump crabmeat, shells and cartilage removed
      Tortilla chips, for dipping

      In a large bowl, place all but 1/4 cup of the avocado pieces. Add
      2 tablespoons of the lime juice, 2 tablespoons of the cilantro,
      1 teaspoon of the jalapeno, 1/2 teaspoon of the cumin, 1/4 teaspoon
      of the garlic, 1/4 teaspoon of the salt, and a pinch of cayenne, and
      mash with the back of a fork until smooth. Add 1/4 cup of the onions
      and 1/4 cup of the tomatoes to the avocado mixture, and stir well to
      combine. In a separate bowl, combine the remaining ingredients with
      the crabmeat and gently toss to combine. Fold the crabmeat mixture
      into the mashed avocado mixture, stirring to combine, but being
      careful not to break up the crabmeat. Season to taste. Divide among
      4 chilled Martini glasses and serve with tortilla chips.

      =+=-=+=-=+=-=+= =+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=

      Strawberry Margarita Pie
      1 1/4 cup pretzel crumbs
      1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons butter, melted
      1/4 cup sugar

      1 1/2 cup strawberries, diced
      14 oz. sweetened condensed milk
      1/3 cup lime juice, freshly squeezed
      1/4 cup Tequila
      2 tablespoons Triple Sec
      1 1/2 cup Cool Whip, thawed

      Combine pretzel crumbs, butter, and sugar, mix well. Press firmly
      on bottom and up sides of a lightly buttered 9-inch pie pan.

      Combine milk, lime juice, strawberries, tequila and triple sec,
      blend well. Fold in Cool Whip. Pour into crust. Place in freezer for
      four to eight hours. Remove from freezer and let stand 10 minutes
      before serving. Garnish with whipped cream or Cool Whip.

      "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt


      • #4
        Re: Food Funnies and other info.

        thanks, that looks good, lol