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  • A Question for our Jewish Members

    I hope you don't think I'm being insensitive, its just that in SW Kansas there are very few Jews & I'm curious about things in your religion.

    I was under the impression that Jewish people were to be buried within 24 hrs of their death. And I didn't know that flowers were inappropriate at a funeral. If any of you could enlighten someone who is non-Jewish, it would help me to understand a religion that I know very little about. I do know about the Sabbath on Saturday & some food restrictions & religious holidays.

    Thanks & I hope I"m not offending anyone.

  • #2
    Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

    Originally posted by sameoldkris View Post
    I hope you don't think I'm being insensitive, its just that in SW Kansas there are very few Jews & I'm curious about things in your religion.

    I was under the impression that Jewish people were to be buried within 24 hrs of their death. And I didn't know that flowers were inappropriate at a funeral. If any of you could enlighten someone who is non-Jewish, it would help me to understand a religion that I know very little about. I do know about the Sabbath on Saturday & some food restrictions & religious holidays.

    Thanks & I hope I"m not offending anyone.

    I am no authority on this but once many yrs ago I took care of a older jewish man and when he died he was buried the very same day before the sunset his family explained to me that was traditional jewish custom so maybe if the jewish person is not buried the same day then flowers would be in order otherwise there would be no reason for flowers to sit less than 24 hours but a longer funeral say afew days viewing before burial to me would seem flowers would be welcome as with any funeral ....JMHO

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    • #3
      Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

      This is what I found on the internet...

      Sending flowers to a funeral home or burial site is not normally done. Instead, fruit and food baskets are traditionally sent to the home during the mourning period. Increasingly, however, friends are choosing to send flowers to bereaved family members at home following the funeral. Similarly, it's becoming more common to see some floral decorations sent to adorn the synagogue foyer. These newer traditions, however, are generally not practiced among Orthodox Jews.

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      • #4
        Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

        Jews don't embalm their dead... and bury their dead in plain wooden caskets... dust to dust, as it were... so quick burial is important... hence the 24 hour rule. Don't know that flowers aren't appropriate. I've been to many Jewish funerals and there've been flowers there. Traditionally funerals and burials aren't held on the Sabbath (sundown Friday to sundown Saturday) cause the Sabbath is considered a weekly celebration (sort of a holiday).
        Last edited by luvs2eat; 06-28-2008, 09:18 PM.
        "What fresh hell is this?" Dorothy Parker

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        • #5
          Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

          We don't embalm and we never look at the body in the casket. I did not know about the flowers thing, muct be orthodox, however, our flower arrnagements are more simple, just white roses or something. That's probably just the taste of people in my area. We don't usually have those special wreath like bouquets on the stand as Christians do at the tombstones. Usually just lay some flowers out or maybe have a vase.
          www.southernjewishprincess.com

          www.funnynotslutty.com

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          • #6
            Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

            Since we're on the topic..... Can someone give me a layman's term on what "Kosher" means? I googled it and still don't quite understand it..

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            • #7
              Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

              The tradition is to visit the grieving family. After the buriel the family recieves people at their home for a period of 3 or 6 days. At this time of your visit you can bring a box of candy, cookies or fruit or nothing. If you work or are close to the family or want to pitch in with a group of people you can have a meal sent to the family, or send a large fruit basket. Hope this helps.

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              • #8
                Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                Ok SJP forgive my spelling Shiva?? Doesn't that go on for a week plus my g/f had to go to pray everyday for a year?? She lived in Denver with bad snow storms & felt bad, I said you got to stop if you can't go because of weather they got to understand. She had guilt. You will understand. I'm Presbyterian and when I was young we had the veiwing next day funeral then people in & out. Now we can have viewing & buried in the same day. Things have changed so much for us but I think the Jewish still stand by the older ways. SJP explain Shiva to them, Think Stephanie may have to be there for a week or maybe I am wrong.

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                • #9
                  Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                  I grew up in a neighborhood of mixed people and religions. We lived next door to a jewish family (in fact Mrs. Winestein would wack me with a switch if she caught me doing something I should not have been doing) for many years.

                  When the husband passed my grandmother went to the home and "sat Shiva" with the widow. My parents took coffee, cakes and some food for several days.

                  Just an FYI but I was told that flowers became a tradition because way back in the day the body sat in family home and to cover the smell (faint) folks used fragrant flowers. This became a custom, and I do not know of any religion that stipulates that flowers should be present at a burial or funeral.
                  Last edited by Buckwheat2; 06-29-2008, 01:00 AM.

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                  • #10
                    Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                    Jew here.

                    Mellon's on the right track.

                    Shiva is Hebrew for "seven." As in a week. The mourning family traditionally receives well-wishes in the home for a week. They are to be kept comfortable - fruit baskets, food - someone always pays for dinner that is brought to the shiva house. If you bring food to the shiva house yourself, it should contain eggs in it - they represent the round circle of life.

                    Immediate family - parents, children and siblings - of the deceased mourn for a year. During this time it is incumbent upon them to go to the synagogue on the sabbath and pray for their relative. For the first month of the mourning, they wear either a black ribbon with a tear in it or they tear their clothes to show they are in mourning. Only the orthodoxy tears their clothes these days.

                    Jewish law requires that burial take place as soon as possible, preferably within 24 hours of death. Burial may be delayed for legal reasons; to transport the deceased; if close relatives must travel long distances to be present at the funeral/burial; or to avoid burial on the sabbath or another holy day. It should not be delayed longer than necessary. It is inappropriate to make arrangements on the sabbath itself.

                    Jewish law and tradition have endowed funeral and mourning practices with profound religious significance. It is a sacred thing. Jewish funerals ar solemn, simple affairs. The family and visitors reflect in dressing and acting appropriately for the occasion; flowers and music are inappropriate; embalming and viewing are avoided except by the immediate family and ONLY before the service; and interment takes place as soon as possible after death. Autopsies and enbalming are forbidden - you return the body as you received it from God. That is why there are no tattoos, and why it was so grievous in the Holocaust when prisoners were tattooed with numbers. Similarly, there are no cremations and there is no organ donation.

                    Jews do not wear clothing, jewelry, glasses or anything to the grave - nothing they did not come with. Jews are wrapped in a simple shroud - some men in their prayer shawls - and buried that way - the cloth will turn to ashes and dust as will the body. Some think that Jesus, who was Jewish, had a burial shroud that was found in the city of Turin.

                    Every year on the Hebrew anniversary of the person's death, the immediate family members have Yahrzeit - a day of remembrance and prayer. It is also a solemn day, and a 24 hour memorial candle is lit and prayers are said. Mourners also return to the synagogue to say a prayer for the dead. The same prayer can be reicted over the graves.

                    Hope this helps.

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                    • #11
                      Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                      Thanks Beth for helping us out. My Jewish g/f had to go to synagogue for everyday for a year when her Dad died, but had this blizzard & she got upset. I said they understand you can not go. Yeah listen to the Presyterian friend. ha ha ha My DH Catholic , things have changed so much in our religion but the Jewish still keep the beliefs. We have scaled down a little. Beth is right with this. It is a long praying with the death of a Jew. Death is very sad no matter what you are. Keep this in our hearts & prayers for them.

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                      • #12
                        Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                        Beth? Bethipoo? From TSR?? If so... hey!! It's me, 'steve in FL'!! Long time, no 'see'!! Hope all is well with you and the fam..

                        If not, then, ok, well good info!! lol..
                        Last edited by kiop; 06-29-2008, 10:06 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                          Originally posted by janabanana View Post
                          Since we're on the topic..... Can someone give me a layman's term on what "Kosher" means? I googled it and still don't quite understand it..
                          I've always wondered the same thing. ??????
                          The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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                          • #14
                            Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                            I see Jews aren't allowed to donate organs. Does it work the same way in reverse? Are they allowed to receive a donated organ to save their life?
                            (Side note to kiop: Been married to Catholic hubby almost 50 yrs. Many Catholic family & friends, & I don't know anyone who sounds like you.)

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                            • #15
                              Re: A Question for our Jewish Members

                              Beth, very good explanation. Thanks you so much.
                              I find it interesting to learn about other religions and traditions.

                              Heres what little I know about kosher. It has to do with allowable foods under Jewish law I think. I know at our beef packing plant there is a rabbi who comes to inspect how the beef is killed & prepared. Is that right?

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