Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

    I've just arrived home after leaving a tearful Mum at her new nursing home. She feels disorientated but hopefully will settle in soon. It was very hard leaving her...


    Now for the first time in many, many weeks, I'm going out for dinner with my husband...
    I really want a smoke detector that shuts off as soon as I shout…“I’M ONLY COOKING!!”

  • #2
    Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

    I'm glad for you. Wow, dinner out?? What's that?? I can't remember the last time I went anywhere besides the grocery store and that has to be done in a flash or my mom's calling my cell phone to see where I'm at and when will I be back. Thirty minutes to her is like six hours. I have been in contact with Hospice to see what they can offer. I suppose to meet with them tomorrow. All I know is that I am exhausted!!! I'm sure your mom will get adjusted, it might take some time. But, I hope you get a well deserved break!!!
    The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

      Hope your Mum will soon adjust to her new surroundings. I k now how painful it is to have to put your loved one in someone else's hands. We had to do the same thing with my MIL. But, by the time we had to put her in a nursing home, her dementia was so bad that she didn't realize what was happening. Hope you had an enjoyable evening with your husband.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

        floridagirly... you sound like I've been for the past three years and although I don't regret even one minute of the time spent with Mum, I do regret not being here for my husband and children. Over the long months, I've hated people telling me to look after myself because I simply didn't have time for myself. You *do* need to look after yourself. Although part of me wants to go to the home and take my mother back, I know this is the best thing for me, my sisters, my husband and children and it's also the best thing for Mum...


        weezer, my old friend... ((((((HUG)))))))) ("old" referring to the fact that we've been friends for many years... nothing to do with her age ) Mum doesn't understand much of why she's at a place she doesn't recognise. She kept telling me that she can't stay there for the rest of her life but of course that's exactly how long she's going to be there. I hope for a day when she tells me that she likes living there.
        I really want a smoke detector that shuts off as soon as I shout…“I’M ONLY COOKING!!”

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

          ((((Chay)))) I can't imagine once she settles in, not liking it. I think she will enjoy having her own room, privacy, and most of all peers around her. You just have to keep telling yourself that. I hope you and DH had a wonderful dinner out.
          Visit my blog at: http://midlifemotherhood45.blogspot.com/

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

            I cried all the way home after leaving my dad in his nursing home. She will adjust... it's hard for everyone! (((Chay)))
            "What fresh hell is this?" Dorothy Parker

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

              I hope you have a wonderful time out to dinner with DH! Once your Mum has adjusted and met some people there she will probably be very happy.
              I know how very hard it is to leave your parent like that. I had terrible guilt feelings after we left my Dad, but just try to remember that it's the best thing for your Mum and for you and your family! ((((hugs))))

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                It's A Very Hard Decision, But Sometimes You Have To Think About Your Own Health, And Taking Care Of A Sick Loved One Will Make Your Own Health Deteriorate.
                She'll Get Use To It, Will Enjoy Doing Things With The Other Residents. And You Can Visit Anytime You Want.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                  Chayote, I can understand it being difficult for you to leave her but you made the right choice for everyone. I can remember when I was caring for my mother, everyone else including myself was neglected. I never regretted taking care of my mother but later felt very gulty for how much I neglected my other family. I am glad you are going to have some quality time with dh.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                    I am sure it was a hard decision to make, and hard to leave her. But I think it was the best thing for you , your family and ultimately your Mother. She will meet other people her ages and she will have things to do, be around folks her age.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                      Chayote, so happy for you. You did the right thing. They may be right in giving your mum a little time to adjust. I worked at several pre-schools over the years. The kids whose moms kept hanging outside the door or peeking in had the hardest time. They all were fine once the parent left. I know it isn't the same, but as long as you trust the folks she is with, you may be able to relax more.

                      Good idea putting some familiar things in her room. Will make her feel better. Hope your dinner was a good one! Miss those fish & chips!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                        The day will come when your Mum will feel at home in her new surroundings. My dear MIL was a tiny woman with a huge heart. All of the residents as well as the staff loved her. She was their Valentine Queen the year she was a resident there. She often asked me questions about like"How is this house built?" I told her it had lots of bedrooms, a huge kitchen & dining room. That satisfied her. Whenever she had a visitor she would invite them to stay and rest awhile. She would say" Lay down over there (pointing to the other bed in her room) and when you get up, I'll fix you a bite to eat." She was in her own little world and never realized that her worst fear of being put in a nursing home had come to fruition. I miss her so much. She was more like my child & I her mother during the last few years of her life.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                          Chayote, I know how difficult your decision was. I remember so well when our family made the same decisions for hubby's grandmother. My MIL agonized just like you but in the end it became too physically demanding for her to care for Granny. At first Granny was bewildered but within a few days she adjusted well to her new surroundings. Someone from our family was at the facility just about every day, usually my MIL and BIL (who lives with her). The nurses became very familiar with my MIL and I because they knew if her care was not superb or according to the doctor's instructions they would have deal with us. Between us we are a formidable pair. I have to say we were very fortunate in our experience because Granny was well loved by the employees and for the most part was very well taken care of.

                          You are a wonderful daughter who has given your Mum the greatest of care during the last few years. I have no doubt you will make sure that those entrusted with her care will treat your Mum as if she is their own.

                          I hope you enjoyed your dinner with John.

                          (((HUGS)))

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                            thank you all so much for your encouraging words. I had a phonecall from the home this morning saying that Mum had asked for a haircut and they were checking that it was ok with me. It's only two weeks since her hair was cut but I told them to go for it. If Mum has settled in enough already to ask for something, I am thrilled! I'm going to visit her this afternoon but only for an hour and then I'll leave before her evening meal.

                            Thanks for understanding how hard this decision has been but it's one where we had no choice. Her care is now beyond what my sisters and I can offer but I still want to see her every day. She's my Mum and I love her too much to leave her.
                            I really want a smoke detector that shuts off as soon as I shout…“I’M ONLY COOKING!!”

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: well... my Mum has moved into her new 'home'

                              Chayote, you did the right thing, you & your sister have done so much but some times you can only do so much, this care is draining, these people know how to deal with it more than you can. Enjoy that you can go to sleep knowing she is good hands. She has a nice place & these people seem to call you too. Just to make sure, I know with my parents it was the same thing. Seems these people will contact you and you are still in control . I now this is hard but you seemed to find a nice place, that makes a big difference.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X