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My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

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  • My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

    DS#2 will be coming home from Iraq in a few weeks - Thank God - There will be a huge homecoming greeting for the whole unit at a very large athletic auditorium in Chicago. DS#1 called today to see if I knew what time they would arrive at the auditorium (Idon't) because he and his wife have tickets to see Tony Bennett that night. His wife said that they should go to the concert and not welcome his brother home; DS#1 said there is no way he will not go to welcome his brother home.

    DIL put up suck a stink about his late hours, etc. that he sold his business and now is looking for job (mechanical engineer if you know of any place who needs one J/K). She said she was put second to the business and she should be first in his life! Now she complains that he hasn't found a job.

    I got off the subject - they are coming up to the lake this weekend and I don't know how to handle this; don't know if I should tell her she's selfish or keep my mouth shut.

    I really don't know how to handle this. Oh, by the way, they would be going with her family to the concert.

  • #2
    Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

    WOW Jani, I feel for you. Your son has to pick between Tony Bennet or his brother that was in Iraq. Seems we know the answer but wonder how to put it in a nice way get rid of those tickets. My brother comes 1st. Tony is getting up there but I would think my brother would be 1st. Think your son knows it but may be afraid to tell his wife. She should really be understanding and say try to sell the tickets. If it was DH's brother, I would be there in a second. Family or celebrity, I would choose family always 1st. See if DIL tries to be a bi**h. Hope she doesn't get her way. That is so wrong.

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    • #3
      Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

      Why can't there be a compromise......Everyone go to the concert and DS #1 will meet them there later after DS#2 gets home.

      If you want to keep peace in the family I would suggest to keep your comments to yourself. I'm sure DS#1 knows how hard it is to deal with her and if you do say something she would make his life more hell than it already is.

      Congrats on DS#2 coming home. Please tell him THANK YOU from all of us.
      "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle"

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      • #4
        Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

        I dang sure tell her she's selfish and not in a nice way.

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        • #5
          Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

          Let me tell you what, I'm sure Tony Bennett would even say for your DS to skip his concert just to show respect for brother's service and all that he (and the others) have done for this country...........I think Little Miss DIL needs to get on her knees and pray to the Lord that your son is even able to make it back ALIVE unlike others who haven't been so lucky. It's those like your son who are over there fighting to give her the FREEDOM to even be able to have such luxuries like going to Tony Bennett concerts!!!!

          What a brat.......ME, ME, ME........she needs to volunteer her time maybe to those less fortunate and learn to shut her selfish little mouth. I would be like rescuedpanther and tell her off in a not so nice way.........if someone doesn't tell her about herself now, she's just going to continue to think it's HER world and everyone else just happens to be living in it!!!

          Sorry for the rant, but you asked for opinions and that's JMHO!!!!
          Last edited by krubinic; 08-12-2008, 11:41 PM.
          The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

          Faith is believing in advance what already makes sense in retrospect. O:-)

          'Do not ask the Lord to Guide your Footsteps if you are not willing to move your Feet'

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          • #6
            Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

            I think your DS needs to deal with his DW (d for DUMB). If your boys are anything like mine she will have to second seat for awhile.

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            • #7
              Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

              I agree with Krub..And yes, please tell your son THANK YOU !

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              • #8
                Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                Janni, be real nice & calm seeing what they really want to do. Hope maybe they are thinking about it change their minds & go see your son. Just feel them out right now. Let's hope they can figure it out for themselves that DS (family) is so more important. DIL may change her mind and they say well, we can always see Tony another time. Yes big hug & thank you for your son. So glad he is coming home. I know you must be so happy to see him. We are all excited for you. Good job.

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                • #9
                  Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                  From first hand experience....keep ur mouth shut....It's for ur own best interest. You really do not have a "dog" in this fight. This is between ur son and his wife...not u and DIL. She may very well be the mother of ur grandchildren one day and u don't want to have her keep ur grandchild away from u because of these type of episodes. I know I've been there and done that and I only get to see DGS when my DIL sees fit to allow it. So I've learned to keep my mouth shut to the DIL.

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                  • #10
                    Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                    Does DIL have any siblings? I think I would tell her that if she thinks it is beneath her to go see brother, then take the other ticket and bring a friend. But the next time one of her siblings has something going on, wedding, etc. I sure would not tag along with her, but that is me.

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                    • #11
                      Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                      Originally posted by krubinic View Post
                      Let me tell you what, I'm sure Tony Bennett would even say for your DS to skip his concert just to show respect for brother's service and all that he (and the others) have done for this country...........I think Little Miss DIL needs to get on her knees and pray to the Lord that your son is even able to make it back ALIVE unlike others who haven't been so lucky. It's those like your son who are over there fighting to give her the FREEDOM to even be able to have such luxuries like going to Tony Bennett concerts!!!!

                      What a brat.......ME, ME, ME........she needs to volunteer her time maybe to those less fortunate and learn to shut her selfish little mouth. I would be like rescuedpanther and tell her off in a not so nice way.........if someone doesn't tell her about herself now, she's just going to continue to think it's HER world and everyone else just happens to be living in it!!!

                      Sorry for the rant, but you asked for opinions and that's JMHO!!!!


                      Totally agree!!!!!!!!!!!
                      The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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                      • #12
                        Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                        I have to agree with Boadecia. This is not your fight. Your son needs to stand up to her and if he doesn't then just let it go. My ex-MIL made no bones for 13 years that she didn't like me. It just caused me to pull farther and farther away and take her son with me.

                        I hope that your DIL comes around because your DS deserves a heroes welcome without family angst. I second the comment on Thank him for us.
                        Visit my blog at: http://midlifemotherhood45.blogspot.com/

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                        • #13
                          Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                          Originally posted by Boadecia View Post
                          From first hand experience....keep ur mouth shut....It's for ur own best interest. You really do not have a "dog" in this fight. This is between ur son and his wife...not u and DIL. So I've learned to keep my mouth shut to the DIL.
                          Been there, done that, too, and it's not worth it! By the way, thanks to your son for his service to our country, so thankful he's coming home!

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                          • #14
                            Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                            Yes, Boadecia is right. Keep out of it. Be sunshine and light around the DIL this week end. It is not your fight.

                            But I do have to add a couple of things: You have only heard one side of this 'fight'. There might be a legitimate reason for your DIL feeling this way. If your DS#1 was a workaholic who ignored his wife for his business, sold the business, but things have not changed in her eyes, then yes, she might feel like a second class citizen in her own marriage and is lashing out. We all know how totally unrelated things can surface in the heat of a fight.
                            Communicate. It can't make things any worse!

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                            • #15
                              Re: My son is coming home from Iraq and I need help

                              I agree w/ the others here. Whatever your opinion is... keep out of it.
                              "What fresh hell is this?" Dorothy Parker

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