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  • Have you ever had friends that...

    you have had disagreements with and decided to part ways?? I had two very good friends and we did so much together. We would take trips, work on photography projects (which is how we met), then come into disagreements with??

    I decided perhaps it was best to part ways. Six months later, I decide I miss them, write them and onlyone responds saying...oh yes, lets get together!!

    So, I wait for her to call me to make arrangements...nothing...no call.

    The other friend...I never hear back from. I know they are still good friends and still on the photography website working together and making new friends.

    Now, I feel like a fool for putting myself out there and apologizing....

    Have you ever had this happen to you?? GUess they weren't real friends after all.

  • #2
    Re: Have you ever had friends that...

    ive had freinds that i just grew apart from if that makes sense,i guess our lives just didnt match,its a part of life...

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    • #3
      Re: Have you ever had friends that...

      Kind of. I had a very dear friend that was just toxic. At 40+yrs old she couldn't hold a job, keep an house/apt, maintain a relationship and I felt that her actions were hurting her son. All over drugs. We had a huge fight about it and we haven't spoken in 7 yrs. I do know that she ended up doing a year in prison and her son moved in with his dad. She has a good heart, she just couldn't get her stuff together.

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      • #4
        Re: Have you ever had friends that...

        I have a friend like that. We became friends in HS, she was 2 yrs older than me but we hung out with the same crowd. I moved to PA 8 yrs ago, and the only time she even emails me is when it has something to do in her life. I mean we used to talk all the time, we even lived down the street from each other after we were married, and would go out with her and her husband. I lent her thngs, and never got them back. I even lent her record albums for babies my parents got for us when we were babies for when she had her 1st baby. She threw it out because they bought a new stereo and it didn't have a turntable on it. (This was about 25 yrs ago) I even taped a whole big Disneyland celebration all day and lent it to her, and she probably lost it, becuase when I asked for it back she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. (Now, they have that whole celebtration on 2 DVD's and they are like $29.99 each. But, she and her husband got divorced about 3 years ago, and her oldest daughter got married this year, and she only told me a few months after the wedding. Oh before hand she emailed me and asked if I had any ideas for the cake and decorations, and I emailed back and said I would be more than happy to help out, and never heard back until she emailed and she her daughter got married. That was a slap in the face too because I was 18 when she had her oldest daughter and I always babysat for free when they wanted to go out for dinner, and I spent like a few days watching her when she went to have her 2nd daughter. OH well, we live, and learn.
        www.freewebs.com/auntanniescakes

        I am one of 57 million (who did not vote for BO)

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        • #5
          Re: Have you ever had friends that...

          Leah, don't be embarrassed for "putting yourself out there". It takes a big person and a lot of class to apologize and try to make amends. Everyone makes mistakes, and I'm sure that all three of you had your part in the disagreement. If your "friends" can't understand that, and understand what it took for you to come forward as the first to mend fences, then maybe you are better off without them..

          And, yes, I have had something similar happen. My best friend that I grew up with. Looking back, I see now that she was never very good for me. She loved to belittle and was kinda ugly to me a lot. We stayed in touch even after I had my kids. Then, when I went to her wedding, she said something to me that was so hurtful, and so ugly, that I was almost in instant tears. She did it with a smile on her face also.. We left within minutes after that and I have not seen her since.
          Lauren ~The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people. ~
          Martin Luther King, Jr.

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          • #6
            Re: Have you ever had friends that...

            I tried to go back once and it worked for a while. Then it hit me that things had changed and it was time for me to walk away. Don't be sorry you tried. You sound like a great person who deserves great friends.

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            • #7
              Re: Have you ever had friends that...

              I have a friend like that now. We started school together a few years ago and we became good friends. I have since realized that she is just toxic, period. She only wants to hear what she wants to hear. I guess I am one of those friends that is just not going to tell you what you want to hear. There are times when that is okay, but when it is serious I take my friendships seriously. I have decided that if she calls I will talk, but I am not going out of way for her again.
              Visit my blog at: http://midlifemotherhood45.blogspot.com/

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              • #8
                Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                It sounds like you did what you knew in your heart was the right thing to do, so dont consider it "putting yourself out there". It was simply doing the right thing, and you should pat yourself on the back for that. I have learned that when I make amends to someone, its wrong of me to have an expectation that they will accept them and that our relationship will get better. Thats not always the way it works out. All I can do is make the amends and know in my soul that I have done all I could do.

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                • #9
                  Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                  There are lots of people who DH and I no longer speak with...some are my siblings!
                  Mainly because my DS's disabilty is something they just dont want to see or deal with. We lost a "couple" as friends...then afterwards thought...they really werent FRIENDS if they couldnt handle our lives! We were friends way before DS's diagnosis, but shortly after they just werent there...walk on the other side of the street kinda thing. GOOD RIDDENS I SAY!

                  You walked away for a reason, dont feel bad for second guessing yourself.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                    karen and I have been friend for 20 years. we've ditched each other a few times and have taken breaks often. last one was like a year.

                    other's yea, i've called and said the sorry's, the bigger person. it works but sometimes there's a hole in the relationship, like this weird feeling.

                    gotta realize that women are just old jr high girls sometimes.
                    sometimes they don't grasp it. and it's ok. find new peeps.
                    you are worth more than that, new people will be thrilled to know you, and theyl cherish your friendship.
                    I just hold on tighter, to a hand that's stronger...he knows my every thought, he clears my weary heart, and hold's on tighter...

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                    • #11
                      Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                      I know the kind of friend you mean. I had one and I did something that offended her but she would never tell me what it was. Everytime I saw her she wouldn't talk to me or would turn on her heel and walk away. I tried apologizing, writing a card, I asked her what I'd done and her response was "You think about it". After all I'd done to recover the friendship, when she said that I responded "I have thought about it, I don't know what it was. If you aren't willing to accept an apology then go away."

                      She's never spoken to me since and now I find it so completely amusing that she has to make this big production of becoming deaf I still say hello to her when I see her) and/or blind when she's near me (we share many of the same friends). When people ask me how she is I tell them what transpired and they are amazed she's held a grudge for all these years.

                      Toxic people like that should be pitied and laughed at as far as I'm concerned. If you have something against another person at least have the decency to tell them what the did wrong and try to repair the friendship or tell them that is why the friendship has ended. Keeping a grudge for that long is stupid and bad for your health.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                        I have had friends, very good friends, come and go and come and go in my life. And I've come to the conclusion as I get older, that certain "friends" are only put in our lives for just so long, and for certain reasons not known to us. If it's meant to be that you become friends again, it'll happen. Otherwise, it could be that your friendships have served their purpose with each other and that time is up.

                        Like I said, have faith that if you are still to be friends, something will happen to make it so again. If not, move on and I'm sure there are others yet to come in to your life who will bring you joy as well.
                        The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

                        Faith is believing in advance what already makes sense in retrospect. O:-)

                        'Do not ask the Lord to Guide your Footsteps if you are not willing to move your Feet'

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                        • #13
                          Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                          Don't even get me started on that so called friend thing... keep your hon, your dog, cats, etc. they won't hurt you and will be your true friends for life

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                          • #14
                            Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                            some people are put in your life for a reason, others are put in for a life time.
                            i've had people come into my life, only so i could introduce them to other people who were more like them. (we don't hunt, we don't have kids their age, little boys)
                            and other people are here for a life time. when you reconize that those are your true life long friends hang on to them.
                            I just hold on tighter, to a hand that's stronger...he knows my every thought, he clears my weary heart, and hold's on tighter...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Have you ever had friends that...

                              I would rather hang on to my dog....long story.

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