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Top 4 Adult Jokes

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  • Top 4 Adult Jokes

    ADULT JOKES, SCROLL ON BY IF OFFENDED BY ADULT HUMOR PLEASE!!










    Fourth Place :

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
    his elbow goes into her breast.
    They are both quite startled.

    The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
    She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Third Place :
    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
    The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
    The husband, rejected, turns over.
    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
    'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Runner Up:
    Bill worked in a pickle factory.
    He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
    He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
    His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
    'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
    'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
    'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
    'Yes, I did.' he replied.

    'My God, Bill, what happened?'

    'I got fired.'
    'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
    'Oh...she got fired too.'
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Winner:
    A couple had been married for 50 years.
    They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
    'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
    'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
    'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
    'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
    ==================================

  • #2
    Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

    LMAO Sis...When ya good Ya really good!! Thanks for the tickles! Hagd!
    Have you made time to listen to the birds today........

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    • #3
      Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

      Love those...keep em coming!
      "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle"

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      • #4
        Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

        Funny Funny !

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        • #5
          Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

          Whats so funny about hot nipples??? Happens to me ALLLLLLL the time LOL!

          Great jokes on a day when they are MUCH appreciated...thanks

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          • #6
            Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

            WHEN I WORKED THE RODEO THIS WEEKEND, SAT PM, I STOOD BESIDE THE GATE THAT THE COWBOYS WENT IN AND CAME OUT OF THE ARENA THRU. THEY'S OPEN THE GATE BACK AND COME IN AND GO AROUND IT AND EVERY ONE OF THEM BRUSHED AGAINST MY BREASTS! I KNOW ALL ABOUT HOT NIPPLES! LOL

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            • #7
              Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

              Originally posted by nuisance View Post
              WHEN I WORKED THE RODEO THIS WEEKEND, SAT PM, I STOOD BESIDE THE GATE THAT THE COWBOYS WENT IN AND CAME OUT OF THE ARENA THRU. THEY'S OPEN THE GATE BACK AND COME IN AND GO AROUND IT AND EVERY ONE OF THEM BRUSHED AGAINST MY BREASTS! I KNOW ALL ABOUT HOT NIPPLES! LOL
              Watch out Nu wants to ride a bucking cowboy.....Ummm I mean Bull yeah that's it bull.

              Huffle
              God grant me the serenity to accept the yarn I cannot return... courage to change the yarn I can... and the reciept to know the difference.

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              • #8
                Re: Top 4 Adult Jokes

                great ones Nu,you find some of the best jokes

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