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New Stock Market Terms

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  • New Stock Market Terms

    CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

    CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

    BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no lovin.

    VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

    P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

    BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

    STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

    MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

    YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

    WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

    PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

  • #2
    Re: New Stock Market Terms

    Those Go Well With The New Company Names I Posted Yesterday!!! Lol


    • #3
      Re: New Stock Market Terms

      How clever! Envy those who have the skills to come up with these -- LOL.


      • #4
        Re: New Stock Market Terms

        Very good!


        • #5
          Re: New Stock Market Terms

          Fit very well with Wall Street!!!


          • #6
            Re: New Stock Market Terms

            Very funny! Totally forwarded!! thanks...
            I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.