Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

[EMail Queen]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Does HE know that he was seen by you??????

I agree with others on this though - probably better off to leave it alone.
Just be there for support for her in the future - coz she'll need it.

But if you continue to have that nagging feeling about telling her - you could discuss with her this very same thing "I have a friend..............so would you tell her?"

And see what SHE says.
She might be so naive that she doesn't know the "signs" of drug abuse. Might be perfect time to clue her in.

Just a thought.

[Dickens]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I had decided that I wasn't going to tell her. I saw him doing them, but it is his word against mine. I think that they live separate lives. I think that it will come out or he will stop.

Where were you when you "saw" him doing them? Was he doing them alone?

[Stella]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

wow, I hit the nail on the head? look at me go

i think you need to find new friends lol

[tmaesk]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Stella, you hit the nail on the head.

I used to be the person that would tell someone what their dh was doing no matter if they were a close friend or not, I felt like it was their right to know. I have been bit by that one big time. So, I will no longer do it. I told a cousin of mine that I saw her boyfriend driving this girls car and she was sitting by him. She called me a liar and it was a HUGE fight. I also told a friend that her boyfriend was cheating on her (I saw him making out with the girl) again, there was a HUGE fight and she believed him. She ended up with an STD and she is still with him. So, you see why I chose to stay out.

I had decided that I wasn't going to tell her. I saw him doing them, but it is his word against mine. I think that they live separate lives. I think that it will come out or he will stop.

[nommie]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I think I would leave it alone.
She will find out.
No need to get involved & get yourself set up to be hurt and lashed out at.
Unless it is a VERY close friend I think you should just stay out of it.

I agree!!!!!!!!

[wellsms]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Wonder if you could go have lunch with her and tell her some of the signs that you saw in your husband using drugs that you remember now and did not relate to drugs then. Maybe she will relate and start thinking. I don't think I would just start saying her DH is doing drugs, you would just drive a wedge between you and her.

[TexAnn]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I think I would leave it alone.
She will find out.
No need to get involved & get yourself set up to be hurt and lashed out at.
Unless it is a VERY close friend I think you should just stay out of it.

[muzette7]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

So how do you know he is doing them? Have you personally seen him do it or just heard about it? I tend to keep out of other peoples business. If she cant see a tweaker under her nose then they both need help, or she is choosing to ignore it.

[Ro-Ro]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I say you better have hard evidence before you tell her. I know I would want to know but know that she will probably side with him and you will lose a friend.

[Sharkie]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Its her husband! How come she doesnt find out for herself?! Thats just wierd. Apparently she is living in denial. Id not say anything. Its thier job to communicate together not yours!

[roset]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Hard question to answer, best friend maybe, if she trusts you and knows you never lie I would but just a friend no, let her figure it out, she probably already see mood swings in DH and has to figure it out. She probably has picked up on something in her house that things aren't right, denial is bad. Most people blame everyone but the person they should, plus her hubby she probably will protect him until she figures it out. I would say no, just let her figure it out, she will sooner or later it will all surface. Then she will say why didn't you tell me??? Well, say I don't live in your house. If you know, I think she must know something too, you don't see them everyday.

[Boadecia]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Mind your own business and what her husband is doing IS NOT your business.

[WREBAC]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

You know for sure he's doing drugs? If you know that without any question at all his wife NEEDS to know!! It's illegal!!

[SuzieQ]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I would tell and let the chips fall where they may. I would want to know if it were my husband. You never know, when she finds out, he may seek treatment for his addictions because he does not want to lose his marriage. If he throws his marriage away for a drug, then he is not a real man anyways and she is better off without him. My BF's husband was using Meth and she didn't know about it until he went cuckoo and starting reading the walls, trees, papertowels, etc. He was having paranoid hallucinations. He almost killed her. He told her that he was clean and for the kids' sake, she gave him the benefit of the doubt. Come to find out, he had never stopped using. She had to jump from a moving car to save herself. I would hate for any person to go through that. That is why I say tell her.

[Stella]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

on one hand i agree with jana.

but on the other hand I get a sense from you that this is not a great friend to you. or you would have told her already. I also feel that she's putting on an image with you, the i live in la la land and everything is rainbows and butterflies here...
as a cover that there really are issues.
perhaps she knows.

why do you want to tell her? and why haven't you already? this is what you should ask yourself. are you the type of person to load the gun and hand it to someone else to shoot so to speak? drop the bomb and sit back and watch fireworks?

I think that if you are in question on weather or not to tell her, then don't. It's not your buisness.