Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

[tmaesk]

Things without her knowing? I have done so in the past but it came to bite me in the butt and they believed their dh's lies, only to find out I was right but too late.

There is someone that I know really well and she thinks that her life is perfect and everything is perfect. I know that her dh is doing drugs and I have chosen not to tell her. I don't think that is my place. I don't want to destroy her marriage and I also don't want to destroy our friendship with her thinking I am not telling the truth.

I will tell you that it is killing me hearing all the crap that she talks about how wonderful he is. I want to throw up!!!

[Crissy]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

She's probably doing them with him. I think in this case I'd not tell and just move on.

[nuisance]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I Would Want To Know. If It's A Good Friend You Are Worried About. I'd Tell.

EDITED TO SAY: THAT SAID, I'D MAKE SURE I HAD PROOF, NOT JUST SAY SO OR SUSPISION.

[janabanana]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

If she's your BF, I'd tell her. I'd want to know, and my BF would want to know too. Plus if it ever came out that you knew, and didn't tell her, that could bite you too... If she's just an occasional friend, I'd let it slide, espcecially if he's a known liar. No doubt tho, she probably knows he's doing drugs.

[Sabine]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Do you have proof he is doing drugs ? Proof you can show her, somehow? Because she probably won't believe you.

[CrabbyMcClaw]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I would have to argue that she may not be doing them too. My (e)strange(d) husband was doing coke and smoking crack (!!) and I didn't know. Wish someone had told me....

[tmaesk]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

She doesn't know. She goes to church and lives a straight life. He drinks a lot of coffee, energy drinks and takes energy pills that she knows about.

I don't have proof. I saw him so it is his word against mine and I know that he would lie and she would believe him.

No, she is not my BF just a friend. My DH was doing drugs years ago (long story and he has been clean 7 yrs) and she knew and didn't tell me. That is why she is just a friend. So, I know how it feels. I am not being vendictive I just know that if I told her it would back fire on me.

[janabanana]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

A true friend would appreciate knowing...IMO. If she gets mad at you for telling her, then she's not considered a true friend. Again, JMO.

[Stella]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

on one hand i agree with jana.

but on the other hand I get a sense from you that this is not a great friend to you. or you would have told her already. I also feel that she's putting on an image with you, the i live in la la land and everything is rainbows and butterflies here...
as a cover that there really are issues.
perhaps she knows.

why do you want to tell her? and why haven't you already? this is what you should ask yourself. are you the type of person to load the gun and hand it to someone else to shoot so to speak? drop the bomb and sit back and watch fireworks?

I think that if you are in question on weather or not to tell her, then don't. It's not your buisness.

[SuzieQ]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I would tell and let the chips fall where they may. I would want to know if it were my husband. You never know, when she finds out, he may seek treatment for his addictions because he does not want to lose his marriage. If he throws his marriage away for a drug, then he is not a real man anyways and she is better off without him. My BF's husband was using Meth and she didn't know about it until he went cuckoo and starting reading the walls, trees, papertowels, etc. He was having paranoid hallucinations. He almost killed her. He told her that he was clean and for the kids' sake, she gave him the benefit of the doubt. Come to find out, he had never stopped using. She had to jump from a moving car to save herself. I would hate for any person to go through that. That is why I say tell her.

[WREBAC]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

You know for sure he's doing drugs? If you know that without any question at all his wife NEEDS to know!! It's illegal!!

[Boadecia]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Mind your own business and what her husband is doing IS NOT your business.

[roset]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Hard question to answer, best friend maybe, if she trusts you and knows you never lie I would but just a friend no, let her figure it out, she probably already see mood swings in DH and has to figure it out. She probably has picked up on something in her house that things aren't right, denial is bad. Most people blame everyone but the person they should, plus her hubby she probably will protect him until she figures it out. I would say no, just let her figure it out, she will sooner or later it will all surface. Then she will say why didn't you tell me??? Well, say I don't live in your house. If you know, I think she must know something too, you don't see them everyday.

[Sharkie]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

Its her husband! How come she doesnt find out for herself?! Thats just wierd. Apparently she is living in denial. Id not say anything. Its thier job to communicate together not yours!

[Ro-Ro]

Re: Would you tell someone dh was doing bad

I say you better have hard evidence before you tell her. I know I would want to know but know that she will probably side with him and you will lose a friend.