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Works for me! Merry Christmas, all!
> >
> > Gotta love this!
> >
> > *Subject:* Rules for The Holidays
> >
> >
> >
> > *1.** **Avoid carrot sticks.** **Anyone who
> puts carrots
> > on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the
> Christmas spirit. In
> > fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next
> door, where they're
> > serving rum balls.**
> >
> > **2. Drink as much eggnog as you can.** **And
> quickly. It's
> > rare... You cannot find it any other time of year but
> now. So drink up!
> > Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?
> It's not as if
> > you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or
> something. It's a
> > treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's
> later than you
> > think. It's Christmas!**
> >
> > ** 3. if something comes with gravy, use it.**
> **That's the whole point
> > of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
> a volcano out of
> > your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the
> volcano. Repeat.
> > **
> > **4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if
> they're made with skim milk
> > or whole milk.** **If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
> It's like buying a
> > sports car with an automatic transmission.
> > **
> > **5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in
> an effort to
> > control your eating.** **The whole point of going to a
> Christmas party
> > is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of
> it. Hello?
> > **
> > **6. Under no circumstances should you exercise
> between now and New
> > Year's.** **You can do that in January when you
> have nothing else to
> > do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll
> need after
> > circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound
> plate of food and
> > that vat of eggnog.
> > **
> > ** 7. If you come across something really good at a
> buffet table, like
> > frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of
> Santa, position
> > **yourself near them and don't budge. Have as
> many as you
> > can before becoming the center of attention.
> They're like a beautiful
> > pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're
> never going to see them
> > again.
> > **
> > **8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a
> slice of
> > each.** **Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two
> apples and one
> > pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to
> have more than one
> > dessert? Labor Day?
> > **
> > **9. Did someone mention fruitcake?** **Granted,
> it's loaded with
> > the mandatory celebratory** **calories, but** **AVOID
> **it at all
> > cost. I mean, have some standards.**
> >
> > ** 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible
> when you leave the
> > party or get up from the table, you haven't been
> paying
> > attention.** **Re-read tips; start over, but hurry,
> January is just
> > around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:
> > **
> > **"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
> with the intention of
> > arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved
> body,**
> > **but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one
> hand, body
> > thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming *
> >
> > * "WOO HOO, what a ride!"**
> >
> > Merry Christmas!*
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (6.0.0.386)
> > Database version: 5.11331
> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
--
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 7.5.552 / Virus Database: 270.9.17/1847 - Release Date: 12/13/2008 4:56 PM
> > Gotta love this!
> >
> > *Subject:* Rules for The Holidays
> >
> >
> >
> > *1.** **Avoid carrot sticks.** **Anyone who
> puts carrots
> > on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the
> Christmas spirit. In
> > fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next
> door, where they're
> > serving rum balls.**
> >
> > **2. Drink as much eggnog as you can.** **And
> quickly. It's
> > rare... You cannot find it any other time of year but
> now. So drink up!
> > Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?
> It's not as if
> > you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or
> something. It's a
> > treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's
> later than you
> > think. It's Christmas!**
> >
> > ** 3. if something comes with gravy, use it.**
> **That's the whole point
> > of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
> a volcano out of
> > your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the
> volcano. Repeat.
> > **
> > **4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if
> they're made with skim milk
> > or whole milk.** **If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
> It's like buying a
> > sports car with an automatic transmission.
> > **
> > **5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in
> an effort to
> > control your eating.** **The whole point of going to a
> Christmas party
> > is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of
> it. Hello?
> > **
> > **6. Under no circumstances should you exercise
> between now and New
> > Year's.** **You can do that in January when you
> have nothing else to
> > do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll
> need after
> > circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound
> plate of food and
> > that vat of eggnog.
> > **
> > ** 7. If you come across something really good at a
> buffet table, like
> > frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of
> Santa, position
> > **yourself near them and don't budge. Have as
> many as you
> > can before becoming the center of attention.
> They're like a beautiful
> > pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're
> never going to see them
> > again.
> > **
> > **8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a
> slice of
> > each.** **Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two
> apples and one
> > pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to
> have more than one
> > dessert? Labor Day?
> > **
> > **9. Did someone mention fruitcake?** **Granted,
> it's loaded with
> > the mandatory celebratory** **calories, but** **AVOID
> **it at all
> > cost. I mean, have some standards.**
> >
> > ** 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible
> when you leave the
> > party or get up from the table, you haven't been
> paying
> > attention.** **Re-read tips; start over, but hurry,
> January is just
> > around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:
> > **
> > **"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
> with the intention of
> > arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved
> body,**
> > **but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one
> hand, body
> > thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming *
> >
> > * "WOO HOO, what a ride!"**
> >
> > Merry Christmas!*
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (6.0.0.386)
> > Database version: 5.11331
> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
--
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 7.5.552 / Virus Database: 270.9.17/1847 - Release Date: 12/13/2008 4:56 PM
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