I'd like to hear your opinion...

[Chayote]

John and I drove to a town called Elizabeth in SA. We wanted to visit a store that specialised in disability aids and were after two new walkers amounting to an $800 purchase. We noticed that there was only one person working, a young man looking late 20s, and he was on the phone. When he was available I told him we were in the market for new walkers and had a particular model on our radar. He tried to interest us in a different brand but we had already decided on the one pictured.

He explained that they didn't have any in stock, despite their website saying they did. He started making out an order for the walkers coming from their warehouse and they would be in Monday or Tuesday. We reluctantly said ok but it meant another drive back to Elizabeth in a few days. This was the ensuing conversation:

"so what's your name, love?"

"please don't call me "love"... that's not professional"

"what did you say, love?"

"I said, don't call me love... I find that disrespectful and condescending"

"yeah... whatever. Each to his own"

"you know what? I'm going to go home and order them online (free shipping) instead of trying to support local businesses"

*silence as we left*

At first I thought, maybe calling older women "love" is an Adelaide thing but my daughter assured me it isn't.

So... here's the question: Do you cringe if someone calls you "love" or "sweetheart" or "darl" ?? Would you have stayed in the store or walked away like we did?

There's no right or wrong answer.


https://i.imgur.com/QDoc8ZH.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/11KT4S5.jpg

[rosie]

I've been pondering your question. Trying to put myself in both shoes. It's hard to know tho not being there.
I think maybe that's just the way he talks. BUT when you told him it was (to you) disrespectful he most definitely should have apologized and assured you no disrespect intended. Have never heard anyone call anyone love. Have been called hon, sweetheart. It does catch my attention but I've never said anything.
IDK if I would have left. Depends on the vibes goin on. If he turned into a sh*thead then yes I would have left. I would have been a bit peeved they were not in stock when it said they were. Sooo I would have prob been the Shi*thead.

[AngID]

I probably wouldn't even have noticed. Much less been offended by it!

[Sabine]

I really can't relate to the subject, I have never been addressed like that. No clue how I would have reacted?
I also have never heard anybody addressed "love", sounds so British. Something you may hear on one of the British shows on PBS.

[MudderBear]

Well, in my opinion I don't consider being called 'love' is disrespectful. I think that in most cases being called 'pet names' is more of a habit? There is a female cashier at our grocery store and she calls EVERYONE 'love', male and female. My husband generally will call me and our daughter, 'honey', but when he is with his sisters or any close female friends, he calls them 'darlin' and I just laugh at that term...to me it just seems so put on lol. In your case Chayote, I think that I would have just let it go on past, but now the issue with the walkers is a different story.Then clerk should have been way more responsives to your wants & needs.

[AllieK]

Well, I've been called Hon, and Sweetie, but both times by women. I dont' know how I'd react to it if it had been a man. However, once you asked them to not call you that, they should have stopped doing it.

[CharleneG]

I don’t think it would bother me all that much, but it’s been quite some time since I’ve had that happen. I know it didn’t bother me at all when I was in my 20’s and 30’s.

[Chayote]

Thank you all for your opinions... much appreciated. I did feel creeped out by such a young man felt comfortable enough to speak to a complete stranger like he spoke to me. Perhaps I overreacted to the situation but I absolutely don't regret leaving the store. He didn't call John, "Love". He called him "Sir". I doubt that he would call a younger woman, "Love". I believe that he called me that because I'm an older woman and I didn't appreciate it. Nor did I appreciate him answering my request to stop with, "whatever".

I also don't regret leaving because I was able to buy the walkers online for $710 with free delivery!

[Bean]

It wouldn’t bother me at all.

[Sabine]

" I also don't regret leaving because I was able to buy the walkers online for $710 with free delivery! "

Maybe you should have checked the online price first , before making a trip to this store ( considering the price of gasoline these days ) and then getting yourself upset about the sales person.

[muzette7]

If a man calls me Hon or Sweetie it irks me to no end, but it doesn't bother me if a woman says it to me. Now if a man or woman calls me Sugar I am fine with that. I think it comes from all my years working in the ghetto. Sugar was a special word for someone who you really liked but not in a pervy way.

[Chayote]

" I also don't regret leaving because I was able to buy the walkers online for $710 with free delivery! "

Maybe you should have checked the online price first , before making a trip to this store ( considering the price of gasoline these days ) and then getting yourself upset about the sales person.

I actually did check online for several hours over the past week. How I missed the last one, I don't know. Living in a new area and considering the effects that COVID had on businesses, John and I wanted to support our local stores. This store in Elizabeth (about 20k from here) is the closest disability aid supplier to us. The salesman didn't 'upset' me as such... he just happened to hit on something I feel strongly about. Moot point now anyway.

Although petrol is very expensive, we are using the cars as normal. No use having money in the bank and being scared to use it...

[Chayote]

If a man calls me Hon or Sweetie it irks me to no end, but it doesn't bother me if a woman says it to me. Now if a man or woman calls me Sugar I am fine with that. I think it comes from all my years working in the ghetto. Sugar was a special word for someone who you really liked but not in a pervy way.

I'm sure that the reason I hate it began after sitting with my Mum for over two years in a nursing home. Within days she was already losing her identity. They insisted on either calling her by her full name (Eleanor) even though we asked her to be called Nellie, or generic names like darling, love or sweetheart.

We have nicknames for people in our family but that's ok. John calls me Kate but when other people try calling me that, it sounds ridiculous. My siblings call each other by our names, as did Mum. My dad called me his little tax deduction because back in those days he could claim educational expenses on his tax if he had three or more children. I mostly call Immy by her name but sometimes call her Sweet Girl. If ever she tells me she doesn't like it, I would stop immediately.

As for the salesman at the disability store, he sounded 100% patronising and creepy. I hope he thinks about me every time he calls a woman "Love" in the future...

[Sabine]

I actually did check online for several hours over the past week. How I missed the last one, I don't know. Living in a new area and considering the effects that COVID had on businesses, John and I wanted to support our local stores. This store in Elizabeth (about 20k from here) is the closest disability aid supplier to us. The salesman didn't 'upset' me as such... he just happened to hit on something I feel strongly about. Moot point now anyway.

Although petrol is very expensive, we are using the cars as normal. No use having money in the bank and being scared to use it...

20 kilometers is quite a distance, going each way, but whatever. Your were upset, or otherwise you would not have posted this on the board, right
Lets be realistic Chayote, I really doubt this young sales person has given the interaction with you a second thought.
moot point, yes, let it go.

[Chayote]

20 kilometers is quite a distance, going each way, but whatever. Your were upset, or otherwise you would not have posted this on the board, right
Lets be realistic Chayote, I really doubt this young sales person has given the interaction with you a second thought.
moot point, yes, let it go.

#1...I wasn't upset, I was pissed off and when we got back in the car, John told me that he was glad we left because the salesman's attitude was also grating on him!

#2...I made the post only because I was curious to know if others feel the same way as I do. I have a right to feel however I want to feel. As I said initially, there is no right or wrong answer. The encounter also offered a chance to write about something other than what's for dinner.

#3...20km is just down the road in Australian terms. We are living in a small town. Not everything is available here and it was another chance to explore the area and go for a drive in the nicest car we've ever owned.